


Whumptober 2018 - nwalin edition

by Saraste



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Some are all hurt no comfort, Unconnected nwalin ficlets, Whump, Whumptober 2018, read at your own peril
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-23 21:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16167641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saraste/pseuds/Saraste
Summary: 31 decidedly painful nwalin ficlets written for the 31 prompts of the 2018 Whumptober prompt-list. Read at your own peril.WILL NOT BE FINISHING ALL THE 31 PROMPTS.





	1. Chapter 1

1.stabbed

-

Somehow, he _does_ make it home, which is a minor miracle. The way there is white-hot agony, but he makes it. He should rather have gone straight to see a healer, he thinks fuzzily, but home has Dwalin and he needs him more. Because he always makes everything better.

A wave of dizziness rolls over him just outside their threshold and he has to lean against the cold stonewall, leaving a bloody handprint behind, not knowing he’s left a trail of blood behind him already, all along the secret passageways through the Mountain he has taken. He will make it inside, he swears to himself, because he has to.

He does, pressing down, hard, at the wound in his side when he opens the door, it’s slick under his palm. He cannot hold in the pained gasp, although he’s starting to lose that hot edge of pain to numbness, which _is_ bad. He looks and sees Dwalin, sitting by the fire of their living-space, bend down with his carving a bead, never idle, that one. And always alert, because his head snaps up at the gasp and on his feet in an instant, although the world seems to be slowing down.

‘Hello love,’ Nori says and sways on his feet, hand slipping on his bloodied tunic. Fuck. He _should_ have gone see a healer first? He looks at Dwalin as the world spins and the edges of his sight grow shadows.

Dwalin is there to catch him before he keels over and Nori sinks into the darkness knowing Dwalin will make everything right.

 


	2. Chapter 2

2\. bloody hands

 

-

 

Nori tightens the makeshift tourniquet, wet fingers slipping on the belt-buckle as he tightens it one notch, but it’s not enough because the blood keeps coming, he presses at the seeping wound with his bloody hands and it’s _not enough_. Why won’t anyone come and help?! He sobs.

‘Nori… look at me…’ The voice stabs at him with how unlike itself it sounds, this is not his Dwalin, his proud warrior, his beloved braided husband.

‘No,’ he can’t look away from the blood, if he could just press hard enough...

Dwalin makes an absolutely horrible pained sound. ‘Nori…’

And Nori looks, can’t not after that sound, the pain in how Dwalin says his name, can’t ignore the plea that’s laced in every syllable, the wet gurgle in Dwalin’s throat. There’s blood on Dwalin’s lips, his face is ashen and he’s _dying_.

‘Please don’t…’ Nori begs in a small voice, broken and hollow, ‘I can’t…’

‘I die… defending my love,’ Dwalin reaches out and Nori takes hold of his hand, ‘...a… worthy... warrior’s death.’

 _‘But I’m not worthy for you to die defending’_ Nori does not say, does not shout, but instead drinks in the sight of Dwalin still breathing, hoards these last moments with him like the precious gems they are, priceless beyond reckoning with how they’re running out and have to enough until the Halls of Waiting. ‘I love you,’ he sobs the only words he can say now, the only words which matter.

Nori’s bloodied hands are still held in Dwalin’s big ones, strong to the last, when Dwalin draws in a last broken breath, eyes locked with Nori right to the end.

 


	3. Insomnia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda hate myself for writing this.

After Azanulbizar Dwalin rarely sleeps where Nori can catch him and, when he does, when he falls asleep from pure exhaustion, he too often wakes shaking and not himself from horrible nightmares filled with carnage and the song of battle still in his blood. Most nights Dwalin does not sleep because he can’t, because the battle is still too fresh in his mind, it’s horror overcoming that even of the Dragon coming upon Erebor and he’s afraid what he’ll find in dreams.

Nori pretends that it’s all right, feigns sleep when he can, watching Dwalin sitting awake with almost shut eyes, because he cannot fall asleep easy, either. He never blames Dwalin, wasn’t there to fight alongside him, but is no stranger to the harder side of life.

He doesn’t sleep because he doesn’t have the heart, will not burden Dwalin with the knowledge that, when he’s not himself, his big hands have been around Nori’s throat, or one of his knives, and Nori has had to fight him off. Dwalin never remembers in the morning and Nori is glad of it, but he doesn’t sleep easy, not with the man he loves. And fears. Because it would break Dwalin’s heart.

Not even in Erebor reclaimed, where Dwalin finally finds his peace in sleep, while Nori catches forty winks in hidden places because old fears die hard.

 


	4. “No, stop!”

There are hands on him, always hands, always, too big, too strong, and he can’t get away. He can’t  _ breathe _ . Struggles. Must get away… He throws his weight on his assailants, they can’t…  _ He doesn’t want it _ . Please…

‘Nori! Nori!’

The voice is… He doesn’t... The hands grab at him, restrain him, he can’t let them. ‘No, stop!’ he begs, even when that never helps. Cloth tears, his skin bruises and it  _ hurts _ .

‘Nori!’

He can't look, doesn't understand, he can't  _ breathe. _ ‘No, please, stop!’ he pleads, begs, tears spilling from closed eyes because he won't look, can't know, doesn't want to, it'll be over if he just goes away in his head, won't it? There are too many hands on him and he… gives in.

He goes slack, the fight punched out of him, but he trembles.

The hands go and he curls in on himself, sobbing. ‘Please, please, please…’

The voice is broken, it’s… ‘Nori, please love, you’re scaring me.’ 

_ It’s Dwalin. _

He curses himself curls up tighter, makes himself small, wants to shut himself away. He feels weak and broken and unclean.  _ Should have been stronger _ . He’s crying, always crying even when it never did any good even back then and helps none now. Dwalin shouldn’t have to see. Please, can’t he just look away, leave him be? ‘Please… don’t.’ He shakes like he has a fever, the flight and flee response of his body leaving him shivering on the cold stone floor by the bed, tangled in their bed-clothes. He seeks a bead to hold in the fist of one shaking hand, even when he doesn’t deserve its comfort.

Dwalin is a big familiar presence beside him, keeping his distance, and Nori wants him both as far away as possible and holding him tight to him in the shelter of his loving arms, promising that the stuff of Nori’s nightmares never happens again, even when he can’t take away the memories.

Eventually, Nori uncurls and lunges, seeking the comfort he doesn’t think he is worthy of, but he’s too weak to refuse. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5. Poisoned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a tear-jerked. You have been warned.

Nori has lived a dangerous life and has built up a tolerance, can shrug off most non-lethal-poisons almost like nothing, but this time is different, and more devastating, even when it does not appear so from the start.

He makes it home, into Dwalin’s fussing arms and concerned murmurs, gently admonishing him that he hadn’t been more careful. He suffers through all the infinite poking and prodding that Oín can muster, yet drinks all the remedies without putting up a fuss. He shivers and shakes through three endless days under a heap of blankets, sweating so much that everything is constantly sticky no matter many times he changes. He can’t keep much of anything down, but tries, just to make that look on Dwalin’s face go away, to smooth down that crease between his eyes, and make his own hands stop shaking.

Nori lives, in the end, as he knew he would, and shrugs away the experience, throwing himself at life with renewed vigour, once he gets his strength back.

But he curses it down to the lowest dungeon pit of Mordor when the real damage unveils, years after. He doesn’t cry when Oín confirms it, after a series of disappointments and years of hope, his eyes are dry throughout, even when Oín tells him that he will never get to hold a pebble of his own blood, that he’s barren, that the poison broke him worse than death because his arms ache for a warm little weight and heart years for that special smile on Dwalin’s face only pebbles bring forth. Only in Dwalin’s arms does he cry, after, when they have the privacy of their quarters to themselves, and curses the day when he gave that particular poisoner a far too swift death.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for whumptober 2018 day 6. betrayed.

‘No,’ Dwain says, voice breaking, looking down at the lithe-fingered, _lifeless_ hand held in his, it’s so very cold, fragile, he shakes his head, ‘no.’

He looks at the russet hair cascading over the pillow, at the braids he had put there, the beads he had carved with love and devotion, thinks of the beads which are waiting, will forever wait to be braided in, now, was it tempting fate to carve them beforehand?  It isn’t supposed to be like this. He wants to take hold of Nori’s shoulders and shake him. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. Supposed to end. How can the russet of Nori’s hair be so vivid when the world seems to have bled out of all colour, otherwise?

The newest braids blur in his vision, Nori had been _so_ proud of them, had flaunted them, they were belonging and love, protection, _family_.

There are braids Nori has earned but will never have now, and Dwalin had hoped he himself would have been score and score and score years away from having to braid certain distinct braids into his own head. But he’ll have to learn and he’ll hate and curse every minute of it. Hates that he’ll get to have the braids Nori will not.

He feels betrayed and cheated, it was not supposed to end like this, with bloodied sheets and Nori’s lovely pretty eyes staring at nothing as his body grows colder and colder, as his hair will forever lack the braids he had so waited for, been so excited about, his tomorrow’s stolen because he paid for a new life with his own, had only felt the weight of parenthood in his arms for only a handful of moments, moments enough but gone too soon to know and say goodbye.

Dwalin weeps and their pebble wails with him, tucked into the safe crook of his right arm.

 


End file.
